


What They Knew and How It Broke

by Glitterfan



Category: The Checquy Files - Daniel O'Malley, The Rook (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Before the show, Betrayal, F/F, F/M, Hive Mind, Love, Multi, Other, Past Abuse, Pre Season 1, Prologue, Trust Issues, gap year, kind of AU maybe?, super powers, there is no kissing in this and i am disappointed in myself, who doesn't enjoy having their heart ripped out?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-05 18:40:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20277964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitterfan/pseuds/Glitterfan
Summary: The Checquy isn’t big on rebuilding when things are broken.A story about Gestalt and Myfanwy from Glengrove after the explosion.Lots of angst. Lots and lots of it. (i am so very sorry).





	1. Glengrove was not the first Glengrove

**Author's Note:**

> Lots of swearing. Like SOOO MUCH. Trigger Warning for self harm and implied sexual abuse (because that’s how i view the Bristol stuff on the show which is pretty much the only spoiler). Also, I don’t know how the British higher education system works, but also from what Ive read in the books the Checquy uses their own system for education and is pretty much “we do what we want” when it comes to… everything? So i figured why the hell not.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Checquy isn’t big on rebuilding when things are broken. 
> 
> A story about Gestalt and Myfanwy from Glengrove right after the explosion.   
Lots of angst. Lots and lots of it. (i am so very sorry).
> 
> In which Gestalt rushes back from where they have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of swearing. Like SOOO MUCH. Trigger Warning for self harm and implied sexual abuse (because that’s how i view the Bristol stuff on the show which is pretty much the only spoiler). Also, I don’t know how the British higher education system works, but also from what Ive read in the books the Checquy uses their own system for education and is pretty much “we do what we want” when it comes to… everything? So i figured why the hell not.

The Checquy isn’t big on rebuilding when things are broken. They tend to bulldoze and move on somewhere new.

That is why Glengrove was not the first Glengrove to be accidentally destroyed by a young EVA. It was not even the second or third. It was actually the 7th. The only reason it was the 7th was because before Glengrove there were 7 Willowbrooks and so forth. It was always better to just move on somewhere else instead of rebuilding on the ruins of something that had been wrecked.

The Checquy had centuries of experience housing and educating young volatile people with potentially volatile powers. As sad as it was, tragic accidents happened. Portions of buildings or entire swaths of land would be destroyed. Some times no one got hurt, sometimes funerals were held. This was one of those sadder times. 

That’s part of what the Checquy officials told her. That’s what the teachers told her. That’s what the kindly lady therapist brought in from one of the other estates told her. It wasn’t her fault, she would learn control, it was a shame, it happened, it would be ok no one blamed her, she hadn’t meant any harm.

Of course no one told Gestalt that Myfanwy had already been told all about Glengrove and Willowbrook etc and they were distraught enough at being there 2 weeks AFTER everything had happened that they never even paused to wonder if anyone had.

“So you see, that’s why they had Bendy Creek set up right?” Alex said sitting hunched over in a plastic chair pulled up next to Myfanwy's unmoving form. They got no response, and hadn’t had any indication that she had heard that or any of the things that had been saying.

“They have loads of these old buildings just waiting empty. Bizarre that are all nearly identical even. This one is old as hell right? Could have at least moved you all to a new place. I don’t know why Frau Blumens agreed to move to this old place. But at least when you graduate you won’t have to search far to steal her britches just like you planned.” they had tried to put a comforting smile on. They wished their Eliza body had been sitting there instead. That body seemed to be the one better able to comfort people. They were the same person, and could say and do the exact same thing but when push came to shove they would react better to a comforting Eliza then a comforting Alex. 

Plus, they had worked so hard to make sure and only allow “assign” certain facial expressions and movements to each of their bodies that trying to put on what they thought of as an “Eliza smile” on their Alex face felt… odd. Like a muscle they rarely flexed. But the Eliza body was the furthest body away, trapped in an airport in Spain.

The moment someone had finally sent them word of what happened (2 weeks after it had happened) they did it through a text. Teddy had opened the message sent, for some reason, to all four phones the Checquy insisted they carry. 

Fear and anger had seared through them and all four bodies had simultaneously punched something. Considering their bodies were in such different locations (Robert and Teddy were in different university classroom settings, Eliza was at a bunch and Alex was at a shoe store) it had been extremely upsetting for anyone around them. They hadn’t cared despite being written up by their vetting officers.

They had only been gone for over 6 months and apparently in those 6 months everything had gone to shit. 6 months of “training” where they had had to have their bodies split up around Europe acting independently. More than 6 months of not talking Myfanwy. But it wasn’t the assignment that kept them from talking to her they reminded themselves. No, they had stopped talking to her before that. They had fought before they left and now… now here she was curled up on the bed in a room identical to the dorm she and their Eliza body had once shared with two other girls they couldn’t remember. She looked so small. She wasn’t moving or making a sound, they could barely tell if she was breathing except from the movement of the white sheet. They reached their hand out to touch her shoulder.

“Myf…” 

She was up and pulling away in a flash. 

“Don’t fucking touch me” Myfanwy didn’t even look at them as she rolled off the bed and stalked into the bathroom. She whirled around at the last minute and looked at them- looked, through them. All four bodies froze wherever they were, in an airport, just outside the Bendy Creek gates, a gas station. It was as if separating themselves was impossible. Alex watched her, but all of them could see only her and her shaking angry form. She wasn’t crying. She was seething, vibrating with anger, one light flickered and she flinched physically, arms wrapping around herself as she tried to get her breathing in order.

“You knew.” she whispered. It cut them, those two words.

“You knew what was happening and you didn’t tell me. Go to hell”


	2. 6 Months of Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gestalt is "totally fine"  
Warning for swearing.

Gestalt had always knew what would happen for their version of the Checquy's gap year. Their goal was to be their own 4 body, 1 person field team, but first they would have to completed a year of (totally unnecessary) time working with their four bodies in entirely separated in different parts of the country. They would be allowed to bring their bodies together to “commune” one weekend a month. They hated the word “commune”. It didn’t make any sense nor did it even apply. But it was the best term the therapist could come up with. No, not the bird cunt, they would rather cut off all four right hands than meet with him. It was one of the other mandated therapists they had to see just like everyone else. 

They could function adequately well at any distance for any length of time. They only needed one of them to sleep for the other three to get on. They had spent years working on themselves for this very sort of task and if it went well they might get to travel all over the world doing things like this all the time. But doing it like this was just… aggravating It felt restrictive somehow, like they were putting on a show instead of doing actual work. Always on task, no home base for all of them to really come to and relax even during that once a month break. So much pointless input and sensory overload all the time. 

And dear god they were also bored as fuck. Bored of having only one body around at a time to do anything with. Bored of the normal people. Bored of having to pretend to BE normal. 

They were very good at blending in at this point, each body trained to mix with a different type of people. They would get even better as they got older, but as 21 year olds they were still very very good. They still had difficulty hiding some of the distain for their peers that comes from being raised by a shadow government organization. But luckily they were also quite attractive which can cover a multitude of personality related sins. They did enjoy that none of the people knew to question what they were since they never saw any of them together. They could practice certain skills, and if they imagined a different face when they did it well they could hate themselves for that later. It was “fine”… for the first few months anyways. They hadn’t realized they might miss… being known.

But every weekend when they were finally allowed to rest and relax as just Gestalt it just reenforced certain feelings, and certain things (people) they missed.

It also hurt because on those weekends they would look at their phones for the number they wanted to call and wouldn’t. They had to talk to her. Had to tell her. She deserved to know. But… they couldn’t. Not now. It was too late. They can’t. They should. She needs to know.

No. She can call first, they thought. She always made peace first. It’s how they have always done it. She always comes around first. Yes, she would call, then they would tell her. They would talk and they would explain and things would be fixed. She would understand. She always did. She would forgive them. Things would go back to how they were before. They would be better even. Maybe they could spend their weekends not just as Gestalt but meet with her. They could show her the apartment they were looking at getting in the city. Have her help them pick out things for when they ridiculous excuse for a not a gap year gap year ended and they got to move on with their lives. She would ask one of the administrators for any of their new work cell numbers and they would give it to her. After all, was the only “civilian” name on their list approved for that sort of thing. They hadn’t taken her off of it even in their darkest of rages (they were not a total idiot).

But she didn’t. 

For over 6 months there was silence. Every day made Gestalt switched between angry, then sad, then angry and sad again. Sometimes it felt like every one of their bodies had a different emotion at the same time, with Eliza dancing on a table at a party drunk, Alex getting into a brawl, Teddy refusing to get out bed, and Robert sitting blankly in cafe not really hearing or seeing anything, their fist clenching and unclenching as their tea goes cold. They guessed she had forgotten them and moved on and was so blissfuly fucking happy.

They were wrong.

Because one day out of the blue they got a text that they were bring brought in because the school had blown up and she had been right at the center of it.


	3. Please Throw This Pitcher At Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gestalt tries to get a reaction...  
warning for swearing and implied self harm.

Gestalt didn’t know why exactly they allowed them to drop the ridiculous farce of a program and just start their job (well, 3/4th start their job, part of them was staying put). All they knew is that even if it hadn’t, they were done with it and would have refused to go back. So lucky them, or maybe smart Checquy.

For the past month one body was always on campus while the other three would work in the field, sometimes staying at the unfinished loft in the city, but always returning to the new (to them) Bendy Creek campus. They were in a run down cottage that smelt of mold and the three twin beds barely fit. They had hoped to be able to all stay in the dorm, but the administrators had only allowed their Eliza body to stay in the room with Myfanwy. Which was ridiculous.

Back when they had originally shared a room it was always Eliza and Myfanwy and two girls who never quite got them. Now it was just Myfanwy and either Eliza or whichever other part of Gestalt broke in that night. The other change was that instead of them two of them sneaking out to meet with the rest of Gestalt, instead of whispers or secret stolen moments, the room was silent. Myfanwy had not spoken to Gestalt at all since that first night. She barely talked to anyone but she seemed to go out of her way to ignore Gestalts very existence. Which was tricky considering they had four bodies.

Ignoring them was the only thing she was doing well at. 

Myfanwy was barely taking care of herself. She robotically got up in the morning and showered etc each day, but she picked at her food, and would spend most of her time in bed or in mandated therapy sessions where she undoubtedly refused to talk even more. She was wasting away but at least she seemed to be taking no action to do herself any harm, something that kept all of Gestalt awake at night.

One day Myfanwy had found the Teddy body checking her mattress for razors or anything else she could use to hurt herself. They purposely staged this, trying to get a reaction. A word, a slap, a denial (hopefully), really anything would do.

*please react Myf. Please do something. Anything. Yell, throw things. Anything* they had thought, trying not to look at the pitcher of water they had purposely put on the table when they had planned this the night before.

She simply walked past them and lay down on one of the two other unmade beds.


	4. The Truth Comes Tumbling Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we finally get some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of swearing. Trigger Warning for self harm and implied sexual abuse (because that’s how i view the Bristol stuff on the show which is pretty much the only spoiler).

Takes place  
6 Weeks Since Gestalts Return  
8 Weeks Since Glengrove  
More then 8 months since “the incident”

The Eliza body woke with a start. They hadn’t meant to fall asleep but these things happen. Myfanwy was not in her bed and they could see the light on under the bathroom door. The room was dead silent but they knew. Oh god they knew.

Eliza rushed to the bathroom door and grabbed the handle. Locked.  
Fuck. They were so stupid. 

“Stupid stupid! how could you leave a lock on the bathroom door!” Teddy yelled at themselves from a car still miles and miles away. 

Tomorrow they were going to take the entire door off the bathroom. It was a communal one with freaking toilet stalls. Those had doors, and shower stalls with curtains in there… it would be… it would be FINE! She couldn’t be trusted not to damage herself apparently.

“Myf??” they were using their calm Eliza voice while in a car Teddy was swearing. “What are you doing in there?”

There was a rustling, so quiet, if they hadn’t be straining to hear it they wouldn’t have.

The rest of them was up and moving out in the cottage, grabbing some tools on the way. Teddy hit the gas speeding tickets be damned. Gestalt barely had the wherewithal to make sure they threw on clothes as they actually bumped into themselves trying to get out of the small cottage door.

*never again* Gestalt thought as Eliza winced and rubbed her forehead from the residual pain from Robert knocking his forehead on the doorframe *from now on I’m sleeping in enough coverage to at least run outside in in case of emergencies* cursing the stupid idea of having one of their bodies (Alex) sleep naked just to see how it felt.

“Myfanwy the rest of me is coming, if you don’t open the door I will break it down”

“FUCK YOU GESTALT!” 

They (except the Teddy body, who was driving and just sighed in unison with them) closed their eyes in relief. She had spoken to them. Three glorious words. Their new favorite words. 

“I mean it Myf. Open the door.”

Silence.

“Myfanwy Thomas stop whatever you are doing and open this door“

“FUCK YOU… ELIZA”

Ouch. She rarely used their body names when it was one on one. Since fully realizing that they were one person with four bodies, she tended to lean towards Gestalt unless she had a good reason not to (like directly the bodies where to go, or they were among other people).

The two other parts of them walked in tossing Eliza two tools to pick the lock. They quickly knelt and began picking the lock. So much less paperwork that way.

They made short work of it (it was practically a toy lock) and opened the door. They raced over to one fo the shower stalls and all three bodies wretched back the curtain.

Myfanwy was sitting on a stool in the shower wearing a tank top and underwear. Her face was pale but angry, her eyes puffy with tears. A handle of whiskey sat on the floor next to her (ok, now that was impressive. She had always been good but when had she gotten better than THEM at sneaking contraband? Especially when they were the one checking up on her. When had she even had the time?!?!) But the place all six of their eyes went to was the blood that streamed down from tiny shallow cuts on her inner thigh. 

“fuck Myf no” Gestalt said softly out of all three mouths. They tried to approach her carefully but control slipped and Alex lurched forward snatching the razor, Eliza started grabbing towels, Robert tried to put his arms around her… all at once in a rush.

“back off I said NO” she pushed back trying to get them away. it was like trying to fight a 6 armed octopus. For once they were completely uncoordinated. Gestalt was at a loss as she fought them. And they gave up as soon as they got the razor away from her. That was the main goal.

“Give it back” she lowered her voice to a deadly level.

“No” they said at once.

“I have others” she said, her tone dead.

“I will find them” they said agin in unison.

She leapt at them trying to get it, unsure which body even had it until she was crying in Alex's arms. She almost relaxed, but as soon as Eliza and Robert tried to touch her she stiffened and backed away from all of them.

“no.. no.. NO” she shook her head. “no. I cant. I… no.”

The lights began to flicker and she pressed herself abasing the shower tile shuddering.

“Myfanwy” they said in unison. 

“No”

“We should talk about this. You are hurting yourself and-“

“Oh to hell with you Gestalt. Just.. to hell with all of you” she reached down for the handle of whiskey.

Gestalt stared at her. All of them silent and waiting.

Myfanwy let out a guttural scream out of nowhere and slapped the first face she could reach (Robert) but all three stumbled back. Elsewhere Teddy gritted their teeth and swerved into the first gas station parking lot they passed. They desperately wanted all parts of them in that small room right then. But they would do no one any good if one fourth of themselves ended up crashing in the middle of the night. 

“Do NOT lecture me about hurting myself. You knew I did this” she gestured to her thigh where blood was drying “you always knew and you said nothing before so don’t act all high and mighty about it now. And then.. then you found out about his plans. You heard me rant and rave about my crush for months and then after you found out you still just…UGHH!” she screamed.

“Myf I- let me explain-“

“You LEFT knowing what was going on!” she said looking right in Elizas eyes. Robert saw one of her hands had blood on it and Gestalt felt the bile rise up in their throats. 

“How” Alex started but their voice cracked.

“Did you find out” Eliza finished Gestalt trying to use their soft calming tone. It came out sounding hollow. They found themselves unable to keep all of them from mouthing the words at the same time.

Myfanwy covered her face with one hand and took several jagged breaths. Her entire body was shaking. With rage, pain, shock, Gestalt didn’t know but they wanted to hold her but had a feeling it would be a very very very bad idea to go near her right then. Not when she was finally speaking.

“That stupid end of year prank, the spy, thief, whatever game all the graduates play stealing something and not get caught. You had to steal my file didn't you?” Gestalt said nothing but all their eyes looked away.

“You did.” It wasn’t a question “You did and you read it so you must have known and that’s, thats why you changed so suddenly right before you left. Why you instigated that stupid fight, why you just…stopped being…why we stopped… but you never…You should have told me.” her voice cracked

All of Gestalt blanched. 

Myfanwy took a shuddering breath her hand dropped. the other one hefted up the whiskey bottle. She took a drink. Gestalt watched her throat work. She gasped a bit after the pull grimacing. 

“So did they tell you to get my file or did you decide that my file would be the best one to pick huh?” she asked still glaring at them. “Did you decide reading all the things I couldn’t even share with you, maybe even things I didn’t even know about myself would just be the most entertaining to read?”

“I never would have Myf. I didn’t know when they gave it to me. I would never do that to you. Not you. I would never try to hurt you”. But they didn’t say it out loud. At least, three of their bodies didn’t. In a car only 15 miles away the Teddy said out loud what they all were thinking as they hung their head over the steering wheel. 

“Uh-huh. It doesn’t matter. You didn’t have to read it, the game was just to steal it and get proof, everyone knows that. The stupid post it note” She said bitterly still looking anywhere but at them.

“I really thought.. I thought he loved me. Like an idiot. I thought I was in some sort of stupid romance novel but it was just them USING me, my body, to try and unlock this stupid god forsaken power. I’m not some blushing virgin, I’m almost 19.. but I am not not OK with being used like this, or for some sort of experiment. He used my feelings for him, messing with my head to try to make me do whatever this thing is that i can do. To get me to access my powers or maybe just to get him and his ego off! You do realize how messed up that is?! And he’s married and never even told me. And you!” she pointed a finger at them “You knew because you read the files and you didn’t tell me!” her voice broke as a tears began to run down her face. And Gestalt felt their heart breaking.


	5. What Gestalt Read

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we go back in time a bit (cause reasons) to find out what Gestalt found  
warning for swearing, implied abuse from the previous chapter (yall seriously, i wont stop thinking thats what the bristol stuff was)

All those months ago…

They were so ready to be done. To be done with this place and move onto the stupid one year trial and then off onto their new life. They just had to completed the silly little joke of a “final assignment” all the graduates did. The pretend test every future field agent was given from the former graduates. It was a ridiculous tradition but Gestalt did it anyways. Trying to “fit in”. Myfanwy had teased them that they should just ignore whatever they were told to get and steal Frau Blumens underpants instead. 

“If you don’t do it, I will when it’s my turn. Hmmm never mind. I call dibs.” she had said. 

The whole thing wasn’t required but they gritted their teeth and agreed to do it as part tradition. It was child's play really. They were given the number of a sealed file, a vague location and told to bring back proof in the form of the official school prank sticky note. The administration not only supported the tradition but helped, putting a sticky note as “proof” in the mark files since clandestine organizations can’t have their files going missing during ritualistic bonding shenanigans. And super powered spies will be spies and all.

Gestalt hadn’t known it was HER file till they retrieved it. They could have just grabbed the note like they had been told and left. But... they didn’t. They couldn’t. It had so much in it. It was, well it was huge, especially considering she hadn’t really been raised there like most of them. Could there really be so much? What wasn’t she telling them? Was there something in there about them and her? Was there some sort of clue in there to understanding why they felt about her they way they did? Something about her that drew them to her? What did they even want from her? They hadn’t been able to stop themselves from grabbing the entire file. From reading it. Just a few pages they had said. But by then they already left the building and all four pairs of eyes were reading different stacks of pages. All of it.

They wished they never had.

They had been so angry when they saw she had become intimate with him. No wonder she was always defending him. She was sleeping with him? With Bristol the bird cunt himself. The one who had helped her learn to freaking cut herself?!?! He wasn’t the worst therapist or doctor or whatever who had come and tried to figure Gestalt out, but he was one who made their skin crawl. Especially the way he looked at the Eliza body. The way Bristol spoke to them like an “it” and called them that in public to their faces. They hated the pronoun “it”. 

They had voiced their dislike for Bristol over and over, and had scoffed every time she defended him, mocked and ignored her admittance of a crush. Because it had to be nothing. She had once told them she had had a crush on each of them at one point too hadn’t she? And obviously that had passed (damn it) So this would too. Every time she said it they told themselves it was because she was spending too much time with Bristol and it would never go anywhere. Bristol was a creep but a professional and Myfanwy would eventually see through his bullshit. And one day she stopped talking about the crush. And things would return to normal. But she kept defending him. 

Now they knew why.

How had they not seen it? Stopped it. Stopped him. This was.. how could he? How could she? Where they jealous maybe? Angry? Hurt? Betrayed? Yes. 

How could she sleep with Bristol. Why him? How could she not see Bristol was using her? What sick nonsense was this? Did she know? She had to know that this was part of trying to unlock her powers right? Did she not know? Did she think it was love? Did she not realize it was part of their therapy treatments? A dark dark part that they hated was angry at her instead of at him. No, it was wrong, they felt sick- he was hurting her and she might not know. But she had to already know right? How could she not? And if they didn't they were going to tell her so. No, they were going to tell her how stupid she was being for going along with this. Irrational. Everything was irrational. Nothing made sense. The emotions they worked so hard not to feel were flaring up in all four of them. Seething and climbing through four bodies with one mind. They would... they would what?

They put the file back.

They would tell her. 

But then it had all gone wrong and they had been so angry, so confused they had just stopped talking to her. Avoided her. 

After a week of strain it came to a head with her and all four bodies having an all out screaming match outside Bristols office on their last day at Glengrove. About nothing and everything. Everything that had ever crossed their mind had bubbled up, things were said by all parties, they had called her some awful things as all their rage came flooding out in a total uncharacteristic loss of control and hurt. Two street lights at blown out as Myfanwy told them to never speak to her again and that she didn’t need “it” in her life.

They had told her they wouldn’t miss her, that she wasn’t needed now that they were leaving. That she had simply been a nice way to practice fitting in while still in school. And so they left… and the never told her what they had read in the files.

Because she had to already know right?


	6. Tell Me What To Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Myfanwy makes a statement.

Myfanwy roughly pushed past him out of the bathroom grabbing a bandage she had obviously prepared and left on the sink as she did.

“I.. we.. I…” Gestalt stammered in unison. Their bodies felt uncoordinated.

“You want to know how i found out Gestalt?” she asked bitterly as she sat on the bed. She dropped the whiskey bottle with a thud to the floor and began seeing to her thigh. She was too good at dealing with that. They didn’t like it.

Gestalt nodded Elizas head, the other two bodies slowly walked behind her.

“I knew something wrong here, I’m not a total idiot.” she said softly “And I needed… what I had to say to you couldn’t be said on the phone. But no one would tell me where you had been sent, and they wouldn’t give me your numbers anyways. Not after our blow out”

Gestalt gaped at her. “i.. I left your name on my list. They were supposed to give it to you.”

Myfanwy laughed bitterly “Right. Sure. Because they care so much.” she checked her thigh and grimaced at some of the blood on her hand. “I found your file.. trying to find your number, your location and… and I saw a note about your senior prank. And I put it together. But I couldn’t figure out what horrible thing in my file might make you change so drastically so I found mine and…I didn’t know he was writing about us in his notes or that… he was.. it was.. oh god. I didn’t know. I was so stupid.” she put her head in her hand “you should have told me” she whispered “i trusted you and you didn’t tell me”

“you didn’t trust me enough to tell me anything either” Alex interjected

“You didn’t come to me with anything” Eliza added

“Would you have listened?” Robert asked

“I guess we won’t know now will we” Myfanwy muttered in a watery tone. 

They approached her on the bed. 

“Please” they said in unison “Please, Myfanwy”

“No” she jerked away from the outstretched hands of Robert. “Don’t touch me” she shuddered. 

Gestalts bodies shook. In a car far away Teddy was saying aloud “no no no no”

“I don’t trust you. Not anymore” Myfanwy whispered. “I don’t think I can trust anyone.”

“I made a mistake. I was angry.” Alex began

“What I read, I thought… I thought you knew and I was so.. I don’t know what I was doing” Robert continued in their smoother accented tone

“I didn’t know what to do” Eliza finished softly. “I don’t know what to do”

In unison they said in almost a whisper

“Tell me what to do"

Myfanwy shook her head closing her eyes.

“No. I can’t. Everyone I trust leaves, or betrays me. Everything I touch breaks or burns or hurts. Even when I don’t touch it..I mean, just look what even reading about me did. It broke whatever it is we had.” She opened her eyes and looked at them, and somehow it felt like she was looking all three of them right in the eye

“It’s over. Whatever we had Gestalt. It’s done. You need to leave. Please.”

All three bodies stiffly began to back up, turned and walked away, moving quickly so she couldn’t see them shaking. 

Somewhere in a gas station, 15 miles one body sat in a car and began to sob.


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which crime and ectoplasm are mentioned.

It was almost 2 years until Gestalt saw her again. Eliza was returning from a field mission where she had left Robert and Teddy and was still trying to get some sort of goo substance off of her and wondering how it would come out of their long hair. Not to mention The gelled down curls of their Teddy body. Three sets of clothes ruined. They did hate mess. 

But all those thoughts fled when they saw her as they walked into the main corridor of the Rookery. Myfanwy Thomas. They had worked very hard not to think of her. But when one of their bodies slept sometimes a dream of her would creep into their waking bodies. They hadn’t had a visceral reaction to one in ages. Not a single part of Gestalt reacted in anyway that anyone would have noticed. But all four bodies took a deep intake of breath when Elizas eyes fell on her. 

One of the Pawns who still held seniority over Gestalt (for now) gestured frantically for Eliza to walk over. 

“yes yes, Eliza Gestalt, this is Myfanwy Thomas, you probably had time that crossed over at the estates hmm? Could you please show her to the accounting department that business downtown seems to have popped up in a second location” and without waiting for a response the Pawn rushed off clicking on a bluetooth earpiece and saying something about ectoplasm. 

They stared at each other.

“Are you well then?” Myfanwy asked softly. Softer then Gestalt remembered. She looked the same, her skin was paler, making the freckles stand out, her hair shorter and her clothes looked too baggy and somber for Myfanwy. She as still beautiful, but it was as if over two years she had started trying to hide herself and everything about herself that shined. Like she wanted to blend into the background and not be seen. But she was still Myfanwy and Gestalt would always see her, always feel her no matter how much she tried to huddle away. All the feelings were rushing back and they had to clamp them down.

“I’m fine. This way.” Eliza said in a clipped tone, almost flipping their hair over their shoulder before remembering it had chunks of an unknown substance in it from the field (damn it, they were covered in goo and probably had it all down their backs too. Unfair) and turned starting down the corridor. Their entire body felt hot knowing she was losing at them. Their other bodies continued working wherever they were. Alex was also in the building and they were having a massive internal debate over the pros and cons of having two bodies there right then. Possible better control, pro. Possibly being able to see Myfanwy from two sides at once after so long.. pro/con/confusing feelings.

“Gestalt wait.. I…”

Eliza stopped and turned on their heel to face them. “What Pawn Thomas?” they crossed their arms over their chest and held their breath, waiting.

“I…”

Eliza rolled their eyes and turned back around.

“I did end up stealing Frau Blumens underpants.” Myfanwy blurted out. 

Eliza froze. Alex burst out laughing, throughly shocking (aka terrifying) the two other field agents they were sparing with. Robert and Teddy who were both on the site of the ectoplasm incident, did not drop any of the evidence bags they were carrying but it was a very close call.

Eliza turned back towards her. “i’m very pleased to hear that” they said slowly.

The two of them went back to silently staring at one another for another moment.

I missed you, is what Gestalt wanted to say right then. It’s what they were thinking. All of me missed you. But they were too afraid of what the response would be so they didn’t. 

Instead the two of them, Eliza Gestalt and Myfanwy Thomas, shared a very small smile and contrary to everything the Checquy had taught them about moving on, began to rebuild.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM VERY SORRY! I haven't written a fanfic in.. well many of you are too young to have even been around for the dark ages before ao3 but trust me, it was a time. But I had to get this story out of my head. So here it is. I hope someone enjoyed some of it? I tried to make it hopefulish at the end. Because why the hell not. it's my story darn it!


End file.
